5/7/18

Sophomore Year Reflections

I've been back at home for almost a week now, and I am definitely still in denial that my sophomore year of college is over. It is really freaky to me that I am going to be a junior in three months because it honestly feels like just yesterday I was moving into my freshman dorm. Sometimes I think about turning 21, taking my upper division classes, and applying to graduate programs/jobs/internships, and I panic just a little.
























Sophomore year is characterized as the "sophomore slump," and I would like to think that I did a lot to overcome the slump. I got good grades, gained more leadership positions in both my college and in Theta, and grew a lot of as a student.

However, this year was definitely personally a hard year for me. I dealt with a lot of mental health issues at the beginning of the school year that affected me pretty much for the rest of the year. Around September, I was getting really depressed and anxious on top of a lot of other personal/outside issues. I finally made this decision to get actual help with my health this year, and I've been on medication since then. It's helped for sure. I do have moments where I feel stuck in a middle, but I would rather have that feel incredibly depressed or anxious.

I want to talk openly about my mental health of my blog because I think it's important. Talking about it normalizes it, not only for other people but for me too. I always wanted to get better without taking medication, but it got to the point whether I needed some help. I accepted the fact that I couldn't fix my brain's chemical imbalance without some help from both medicine and doctors.

It was a very adult decision for me considering a couple of years ago I couldn't talk about my anxiety without bursting into tears and having an anxiety attack in of in itself. #CharacterDevelopment

The difference between where I was a sophomore in high school and a sophomore in college is minding blowing to me. (Luckily y'all can see it for yourselves since I've had this blog since I was a freshman in high school.) In that end of year reflection post, I talk about how much more secure I felt in myself, and it's amazing how I feel now because I am so much more confident in myself now compared to when I was 16. I think that confidence comes with turning 20 and no longer being a teenager...

At 20, I am more comfortable with change and feel like I know more about myself and what I want from life, which again probably comes with the four year age difference but it's nice to think about the growth I've had in the four years.

While this year certainly had it's crazy ups and downs personally, I am really grateful for this year. I grew a lot closer to my best friends, got two amazing littles, and met really incredible people that I now consider role models. Sophomore year wasn't really what I expected, but I think it was what I needed. I needed this year to show me a little bit more of my pathway and the direction I am headed in, and I am really excited about said direction.

xx, jKm

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